The Loci of my World
I went to watch Wonder Woman yesterday. I went to watch it with someone else, and he, being a male, noticed all the obvious things - how it had a female lead, and that it was very female-centric, etc - but I noticed something else entirely, and therefore our reactions were quite different. I had mixed feelings about it. Him, not so much.
There is a common fear for women with careers of their own when it comes to marriage and childbirth. I vaguely recall Hillary Rodham Clinton mentioning it, or at least someone mentioning it, in her documentary. I've heard other women mention it. And I have it as well.
When you enter a relationship in which you think it might be real, or give birth, there appears to be a steady sense of transition from "human being" to "woman" for those who have fought in a man's world as a woman. As Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City said, "It's hard enough being a woman in a man's world". As a woman, it almost feels as if one must do harder and do better to be appreciated the same as a man.
And then a man enters the life, and suddenly someone like Hillary finds that the locus of the existence - or the reason to do things, such as move - transitioned from "me" to "him". It's a terrifying feeling, because suddenly there's a GPS that's gently suggesting you, the driver, to take left when you feel that right might be better. You have no idea where left will take you. And you turn back and wonder, "am I making the right choice for the past me if I go left?"
And that, to me - that external locus - is a very feminine thing. Maybe it's not quite something associated with femininity, I see it far more often in women than men. And Wonder Woman had it, to the extent that I knew that the director was a woman, right off the bat, without looking at the credits.
Many of games and plotlines created by men involve characters whose loci for action resides within themselves. Eowyn, for instance, fights for her country because she believes that it is the right thing to do. It is not because Theoden loves Rohan that she goes to fight; she fights because she loves her homeland. No single person compelled her to do such a thing, but something far more intangible, nebulous - love for one's country, when that country has no voice, no face, no body - drove her to conceal herself and take up arms.
Ezio Auditore from Assassin's Creed series fights for vengeance, which also resides within himself, and then for freedom and justice. Whether it be survival, vengeance, honour, freedom, equality... men appear to fight for something that they themselves believe in.
But then there was Arno Dorian from Assassin's Creed: Unity, who fought for... well, a girl. It was Elise, his love of his life, who wanted to liberate France or take revenge. Arno was just for the ride. It was his game, his life, but for some reason he was in the passenger's seat.
And upon consideration, this sounded very similar.
And when it comes to Wonder Woman, the same thing can be said. When Diana falters - when all seem hopeless - it is a man's lips, his words that rouse her to save the day, because he believes in it. Before that, she loses all faith, but the male does not. He continues to believe, and leaves her to do what he can do, to pursue his beliefs. And in the end, Diana merely follows. She saves mankind, not because she herself sees hope, but because Trevor sees hope, and she loves him. It is not her choice.
Is it possible for a woman to love someone so utterly and not lose one's self (note: I differentiate between falling in love with and loving someone)? Perhaps, but I myself don't see the way. I must constantly remind myself that my research and my life takes priority before anything else, simply because if I let myself, I may very well transfer the locus of my existence to someone else, and I simply cannot afford that right now. Maybe, someday I can, but not today. I also wonder if men lose themselves a bit too, when they love someone and become a parent, but so far I haven't seen much indication of it.
Perhaps, if Wonder Woman had been directed by a man, Diana would have left behind an injured and dying Trevor to fight her archnemesis.
There is a common fear for women with careers of their own when it comes to marriage and childbirth. I vaguely recall Hillary Rodham Clinton mentioning it, or at least someone mentioning it, in her documentary. I've heard other women mention it. And I have it as well.
When you enter a relationship in which you think it might be real, or give birth, there appears to be a steady sense of transition from "human being" to "woman" for those who have fought in a man's world as a woman. As Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City said, "It's hard enough being a woman in a man's world". As a woman, it almost feels as if one must do harder and do better to be appreciated the same as a man.
And then a man enters the life, and suddenly someone like Hillary finds that the locus of the existence - or the reason to do things, such as move - transitioned from "me" to "him". It's a terrifying feeling, because suddenly there's a GPS that's gently suggesting you, the driver, to take left when you feel that right might be better. You have no idea where left will take you. And you turn back and wonder, "am I making the right choice for the past me if I go left?"
And that, to me - that external locus - is a very feminine thing. Maybe it's not quite something associated with femininity, I see it far more often in women than men. And Wonder Woman had it, to the extent that I knew that the director was a woman, right off the bat, without looking at the credits.
Many of games and plotlines created by men involve characters whose loci for action resides within themselves. Eowyn, for instance, fights for her country because she believes that it is the right thing to do. It is not because Theoden loves Rohan that she goes to fight; she fights because she loves her homeland. No single person compelled her to do such a thing, but something far more intangible, nebulous - love for one's country, when that country has no voice, no face, no body - drove her to conceal herself and take up arms.
Ezio Auditore from Assassin's Creed series fights for vengeance, which also resides within himself, and then for freedom and justice. Whether it be survival, vengeance, honour, freedom, equality... men appear to fight for something that they themselves believe in.
But then there was Arno Dorian from Assassin's Creed: Unity, who fought for... well, a girl. It was Elise, his love of his life, who wanted to liberate France or take revenge. Arno was just for the ride. It was his game, his life, but for some reason he was in the passenger's seat.
And upon consideration, this sounded very similar.
Polgara and Belgarath, with lives spanning eons, could perhaps devote themselves to an idea, a concept; but Ce'Nedra was barely sixteen years old, and she needed something more human to arouse her devotion. At this very moment, somewhere in the forests of Gar og Nadrak, there was a sandy-haired young man with a serious face whose safety - whose very life - depended on every effort she could muster. The princess surrendered finally to love.Garion, the said sandy-haired man, is out to save the world, because he believes in it. Ce'Nedra, his fiancee, is out to save the world, because Garion believes in it. It's not her choice. It is Garion's.
And when it comes to Wonder Woman, the same thing can be said. When Diana falters - when all seem hopeless - it is a man's lips, his words that rouse her to save the day, because he believes in it. Before that, she loses all faith, but the male does not. He continues to believe, and leaves her to do what he can do, to pursue his beliefs. And in the end, Diana merely follows. She saves mankind, not because she herself sees hope, but because Trevor sees hope, and she loves him. It is not her choice.
Is it possible for a woman to love someone so utterly and not lose one's self (note: I differentiate between falling in love with and loving someone)? Perhaps, but I myself don't see the way. I must constantly remind myself that my research and my life takes priority before anything else, simply because if I let myself, I may very well transfer the locus of my existence to someone else, and I simply cannot afford that right now. Maybe, someday I can, but not today. I also wonder if men lose themselves a bit too, when they love someone and become a parent, but so far I haven't seen much indication of it.
Perhaps, if Wonder Woman had been directed by a man, Diana would have left behind an injured and dying Trevor to fight her archnemesis.
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