Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Talking to "Normal" People Update 2

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


There seems to be thoughts out there that people who identify as LGBTQ+ are not normal.  People who are anything are normal and there is no reason someone can't be who they believe they are.  If someone says they were born as LGBTQ+ or straight that is fine, they don't have to prove that they are one way or the other.  The reason most people want proof is to know if sexuality is changeable or you are really born with this but don't figure out until you are ready in life.  For myself, I feel that you are born as nothing and until you figure this out, you are still nothing.  I knew very earlier on in my life which way I was but did I truly know maybe not.  Sometimes, what you truly are, is pushed down by society, culture, and family even if you are one way or the other.

To really focus on this, being LGBTQ+ is normal as can be.  Yes, everyone knows that LGBTQ+ is not the majority and not be for along while if ever.  This doesn't mean they are not normal.  Normal for me means that people are doing what feels right to them.  Society makes up what is normal but really is pushing out people who are not like them away.  Pushing away anyone is not normal and causes a lot of people into certain situations they would not like to be in.  LGBTQ+ people have a hard time coming out because they have been taught by most of society that they are not normal.  For myself, I am pushing myself to come out even more and more until the day when I can't come out anymore.


Is LGBTQ+ political only?  The thought that LGBTQ+ is a political move that is trying to shape politics and change society for the few people within that world.  This is not true at all, the LGBTQ+ world is a big umbrella and even with a minority of the population still is a big tent.  They are doing this for their own desire and love, not to change the world to their own arguments.

Can having feelings about your sexuality be normal?  When you are born or even young, you can have feelings about your sexuality even if you don't understand them.  People are normal when they are born and even young.  Most parents would like their kids to be happy and they don't really push anyone to be one way or another on the spectrum.  This means having feelings of sexuality at any time is normal.

Does society push us to one box? Society tries to put everyone in one box, and throw out people who disagree with them.  This is not the right way for society to develop into an accepting world for all.  LGBTQ+ people are pushed into one box all the time when someone disagrees with them and keeps them in the closet even longer.  People should be able to express themselves anyway they want if this doesn't endanger their lives.  There are more then one box that people live in and they should be allowed to break boxes down and show the power that is there.


If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

Please support me via donating on my Patreon page.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Talking to "Normal" People Update 1

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


Well, I feel today I want to talk about trolls.  The definition I use for the word troll is: "A person who makes a deliberately offensive or provocative online post."  Yes, there are trolls under bridges and they are scary.  I have had the experience of trolls online but also in the real world.  You never know who will be a troll but when this comes up, I can't really be myself in front of people.  I only want to be myself and not be afraid to express myself.  This makes me scared to really know there is a troll around that focuses on me for who I am and not what I am saying.  Yet, I have been learning in the last few months that if I have the confidence to be who I want to be, then maybe I can deal with any trolls that are going to make me feel depressed.

The trolls, I have had in my life have been many but they are never who you think they are.  For me, this is about words from people and having this said to me over and over again until I ready to break myself and scream like a coyote.  The first one I had was in grade school, middle school, and after so long of this person using his words against me, I finally had to start a fight with this person.  The crazy thing was that this person was friends with a bunch of people I hung around with.  The second one was in high school, and would just walk by me, and say words that were making fun of me.  At that point, I was able to push all the words off of me and not have to deal with all of them.  The third ones have been online and they come up on an off which is scary as I can't see who they are so I feel like they are picking on me for being me.  Overall, the trolls can be hard and heavy to deal with but I have had people to help me stand up to most of them online but in real world, this doesn't happen at all.


Are trolls affecting how I dress?  Trolls have been affecting me to dress the way I want ever since I really wanted to change my appearance.  I feel if I dress differently, there will be trolls judging who I am instead of learning more about me.  I want to dress how I want to dress, and this is key to really push my confidence up but will this ever happen, maybe but I will not know because of the trolls pushing me down.

How can trolls push me away from situations?  There are some situations online and in real life that make me feel crazy when trolls come in.  I get affected to the max and feel like going back to those areas make me cry which means I will never go back to those areas.  In the real world, harder to go back to places where I have been trolled at unless I have stood up to that person.  Trolls can push us away from school, work, or even where people are living.  Talking about the situation to others or standing up for yourself are great but super hard.

Can your family be trolls even if they are not trying to be?  Yes, family can be trolls but most of them never really want to be that way.  They are trying to help you in ways they only know which could be wrong in this day and age but that is how they were raised.  My family are not trolls but they can verge on the edge of that even though they think they are helping me.  I like that they want to help me but they always feel like I am not listening or putting their words to action which I am but differently to what they might want or see.


If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

Please support me via donating on my Patreon page.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Talking to "Normal" People

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


I said the word "Normal" in the title, and I should define that first before moving forward.  The definition for me: people who are in the majority of society in anyway, there are too many categories to name.  For this week, I am talking about people who are cisgender or dress the way they were born or straight.  I know that is a lot of people but I need to focus on some of them.  The key to all of this, is how do I talk to people in these categories that don't fully understand what transgender, agender, pronouns or even the name I go by now are.  There are many many many people who understand all of these or even one of them which is great and very helpful.  Overall, I am not calling people out, I am only putting down my thoughts on how I talk to them and how this might help others.

First, when I tell people my name, they say Amelio, Amelia which two things come up.  They feel because I present as male, at the moment, my name should match that and the other thing is that people forget that I am not saying my full name when I say Amelia Rose.  This is key that people don't read or forget that my full name is two words not one.  Second, people always assume my pronouns, they say he/him or she/her without even asking me what my pronouns are.  When I am in meetings, and they introduce everyone, the best someone can do is say "Please say your pronouns, if you want."  They would then learn my pronouns are they/them.  Third and last is a tough one as most people who want to dress differently to how they were born as this is hard to come out and say that.  I for one can't tell people right off the bat, I want to switch my appearance, and you should already know that based on your knowledge of the two other things I already mentioned.  That is not the case for both situations and I don't know if the person will be freaked out or already knowledgeable and understand or want to learn more.


Should people assume someone wants to change genders?  If people change their name and/or dress differently doesn't mean they want to change their gender at all.  Gender is different to your name, how you dress, and even sexuality, plain and simple.  The key is only some people wants to change their gender.  For others who don't want to change their gender, changing their clothes/appearance makes them feel really good.

Does a name put you in a box of your gender?  Names don't put you in a box, for example, Jordan, Alex, and Max.  People have mostly accepted that those names can be of any gender.  Yet, there are still names that people say you are in a box and must be one way or the other without even asking or thinking "I am not sure, so I will not assume what gender this person is until they say that themselves."

Is agender really a gender?  Agender means no gender so really this is not a gender but some people make this a third gender.  This is up to the person who identifies with the word.  For myself, I assume this is not a gender but tells society that I don't want to identify as male or female.


If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

Please support me via donating on my Patreon page.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Challenges of Dressing for Non-Traditional Gender Update #4

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


I am now hearing that there are genderless clothes being made.  I am not sure what they are about but I don't think in our society people are at the point of seeing that clothes can be of no gender.  I totally get the reason for people wanting to do that so in the inside and out people can feel how they are thinking.  Clothes makes a lot of people feel happier and more outgoing if they are wearing the right ones.  The point about genderless clothes is not to be like "I am no gender look at me."  This is to tell people that you are comfortable in what you are wearing and feel that you have no gender so the clothes should look that way too.

Clothes do put people in a box, and this is what I am trying to do too.  Changing my clothes to super femme is about me moving the bar from the left to the far right on my spectrum.  By wearing certain clothes people will understand more what my name is for real and make sure they call me by the right pronouns.  For me, I don't feel that I would be able to get into genderless clothes as I want to be put in a box and have tons of labels, even if labels make people scared and run away.


What do you feel my next topic should be?  Leave this in the comments.


If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

Please support me via donating on my Patreon page.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Challenges of Dressing for Non-Traditional Gender Update #3

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


People are always talking about the kind of shoes they are wearing, and this is something I really am wanting to wear the right kind of shoes.  Right now, I wear more walk/hiking shoes but I don't really like them at all, they are so outdoors looking.  I want to wear shoes that are all skate type which are totally flat and can be styled to the max.  I want the shoes to be totally femme, different colours and have different items on them to pop the shoes out.  I am not into the tight shoes that hurt your toes from here to the Golden State.  Yet, there other type of shoes that I like are ones with lots of straps and open all over the place.

Besides the shoes, there also needs to be socks but I am unsure what to do about them.  I am into socks as I dislike showing my feet off to anyone.  Yet, I still feel finding the right socks are really messing with my mind.  I have tons of socks but they are normally socks from other people who didn't want them.  If I could get cooler socks, I would but socks are really not something I fancy myself with.  Please leave in the comments the cool, fancy socks I could have that would match the shoes I would wear.


This is the shoe tag questions.

Heels or Flats?  I would like flats for sure.
 
What are your go-to shoes?  I wear my hiking shoes all the time but they are for normal walking.

What's your favourite shoe trend at the moment?  The flat shoes that are super femme and have lots of items on them.

What's your least favourite shoe trend?  The wearing boots of all types all the time.

What's your most expensive shoe?  At the moment, $30.

What are your most wanted pair?  If I could have all the shoes in the world, this would be skate shoes.

What's your most embarrassing shoe story?  I had shoes that I didn't even that had holes in them and at the time I was walking around with them.  I had to go straight to buy new ones and put the old shoes in a bathroom garbage as I was so embarrassed.

Pick a shoe and share a story.  The shoe that I am most amazed about are the ones I went on a bike trip on.  I was amazed how well they were able to keep on the whole trip.

How many pairs of shoes do you own?  I normally own one main and a few secondary ones.  I would say max 5 at a time.

When was the first time you wore heels?  I have never put on heels as I don't feel I really want to.

How much do you spend on shoes?  I normally spend as little as possible mostly $20 - $30.

Where are your favourite places to buy shoes?  The only one at the moment, I really like is Mountain Equipment Co-Op.

Do you have a pair of shoes you regret purchasing?  Yes all of them mostly because I really want to be femme and none of them allow me to do that.

Show your favourite pair of shoes?  I don't own a favourite pair of shoes at all.  Showing a picture would be heartbreaking.



If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

Please support me via donating on my Patreon page.