Coming Out Update #1
To update everyone on my situation since yesterday's post. I have posted a number of ads on craigslist and reddit today that have helped me feel a little better about finding a place to stay. I am also looking into a few other places that have maps of places which might be able to help me locate a suitable place. All of these are making me feel if I continue to push myself, I will find somewhere to live in May. The last option, I would want to use is finding a shelter, emergency shelter or hotel/motel as these are not suitable places to live.
As for finding a suitable way to support myself, I have been looking at various options but unsure if I want to go through with them. They are absolutely the last options in my mind as I am scared to put myself out there enough to do them. To me, they would seem like I am begging and I never want to do that ever. Beyond that, since I am no longer looking into careers that stress me out, I feel more confident that I can find a job that will be the right fit for me.
How have I known for more then half my life about my appearance choices? I remember early on when I started to want to wear skirts, crop tops and more. I never did wear them but I did at night turn my pyjamas into these which was fun. The other way is that my girl cousins have for a very long time being hanging out together where only they are invited. One time, I wanted to go with them, and was unhappy when they said "no, this is only for girl cousins, if you want to do something like this, you should get the boy cousins together."
How come I am not getting off the internet support for everything? Not yet, but I am researching ways I could get support. This research is actually really helpful as I have found places that I didn't know existed in the city. All I have to do is start to get in touch with them but I am unsure if the support is in my area of the city which is normal as there is always more support downtown and less in the outer areas.
Why did I not come out or figure all of this out early? I have never been in a space that allowed for me to talk about sexuality, gender, appearance and other issues very openly. I also didn't talk that much about this in the schools I went to either. Most of the time, this was me trying to figure out my own situation which was hard when I had no experience in any of them. I also come from a culture that doesn't talk about this much as they always want marriage and to have kids after that. Last, I finally figured this all out after living with people in the LGBTQ+ community and seeing some of the culture.
To answer one question that I got in the comments of my last post, yes both my parents, mother and father, have short hair and have had this for a very long time.
If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.
As for finding a suitable way to support myself, I have been looking at various options but unsure if I want to go through with them. They are absolutely the last options in my mind as I am scared to put myself out there enough to do them. To me, they would seem like I am begging and I never want to do that ever. Beyond that, since I am no longer looking into careers that stress me out, I feel more confident that I can find a job that will be the right fit for me.
How have I known for more then half my life about my appearance choices? I remember early on when I started to want to wear skirts, crop tops and more. I never did wear them but I did at night turn my pyjamas into these which was fun. The other way is that my girl cousins have for a very long time being hanging out together where only they are invited. One time, I wanted to go with them, and was unhappy when they said "no, this is only for girl cousins, if you want to do something like this, you should get the boy cousins together."
How come I am not getting off the internet support for everything? Not yet, but I am researching ways I could get support. This research is actually really helpful as I have found places that I didn't know existed in the city. All I have to do is start to get in touch with them but I am unsure if the support is in my area of the city which is normal as there is always more support downtown and less in the outer areas.
Why did I not come out or figure all of this out early? I have never been in a space that allowed for me to talk about sexuality, gender, appearance and other issues very openly. I also didn't talk that much about this in the schools I went to either. Most of the time, this was me trying to figure out my own situation which was hard when I had no experience in any of them. I also come from a culture that doesn't talk about this much as they always want marriage and to have kids after that. Last, I finally figured this all out after living with people in the LGBTQ+ community and seeing some of the culture.
To answer one question that I got in the comments of my last post, yes both my parents, mother and father, have short hair and have had this for a very long time.
If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.
Comments
Keep pushing, and everything will fall into place. This is your own life, everything's up to you!
-unnoticeable