Ugly Appearance to Happy Thoughts

Whenever I go out into the world, I always think people are looking at the ugly side of me.  There are people who say I am cute or hot in the digital world but when I am out in the normal world, no one ever says that.  They say, "Your hair is too long or different", "You have too much facial hair and spots on your face."  Do people say good things about my appearance, not really, but do they know to tell me, no.  I shouldn't have to tell others that I need some cheering up, and saying something nice about my appearance would do that.

Ugly is a word, I never say, ever.  This is a not a good word in my mind, people are all different and beautiful in my mind.  I feel today was the first time I thought of all of my ugly parts all at the same time.  I screamed, "I want to fix them all, please let me", and I started to list all of them in my mind.

The above quote is how I feel right at this moment.  I am sorry that I use the word I wrote above but by saying that, I feel so Canadian.

Beyond that, I do have a mental illness which I will write more about later.  By writing on this blog, I have made myself happier and really get out of my mental illness that shows up once in awhile these days.  Even writing the topic above is about getting the message out, and turning something that I feel is sad into a happy thought.