Gender Identity

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


Most people believe that you can pick how you want to identify as.  For myself, I was born a certain way and most people like to put everyone in a box based on how they appear at birth.  Since that was the case, I never understood that people can have a choice of how they appear, and label themselves.  My family never really talked about gender identity, and even now with everything that I am going through and coming out to my parents, they still are not wanting to talk about how I identify.  More and more people post 2000 are able to identify, how they feel without having people saying right or wrong.  Growing up in the 1980s and 1990s, no one really talked about what was outside of the society norm within the LGBTQ+ world.  People thought LGBTQ+ world was not allowed in this world, and made many people shut down.

With that being said, everything that I did to find my identity was not done until I was a teenage, and even then that was suppressed by society.  At every turn, I had to do what I wanted when people weren't around.  Did I truly know what I wanted at that point?  I don't think, I knew exactly but I was aware on some level that I couldn't fully understand.  Since, I wasn't fully aware when I started to want to wear different clothes, I stopped doing this for years and years.  Now, I have the hardest time even getting the courage to take the next step which is take the identity that I choose and make my appearance match.


How does one know if they are a gender or agender?  Most people don't know if they are one gender or not one at all.  Sometimes, people can tell early on in their life as a kid while some don't see this until they are well into their adulthood.  Yet, for most like myself, they can trace back to points in their life that connect them to whatever identity they pick.  For myself, I can pick a few moments but really want I started this all, I don't really know why.  The one reasonable thought, I can think of is that I was exploring everything and not having my parents to talk to about this was a big reason.

How does one pick an appearance?  Normally people say, you are born and that is what you have to be and the only way to change that is to play a character in a film or tv show.  Yet, in the society today, more people are picking how they want to appear based on how they feel.  For myself, I have picked an appear based on wanting certain things in my life.  First, I would like to have long hair, and I always was meant to believe that trait was for only women.  Second, I picked certain clothes, I want to wear, and in society only people who appear that way can wear them.  Third, I feel that communicating with my parents was hard, and not having true role models, focused me to find how I wanted to appear without them.  This third one always felt that I couldn't express myself fully as I was the only children to not have a path set out for them.

How does one challenge gender roles?  This is hard to tell people there is one answer on how to challenge anything in society including gender roles.  The way, I go about this is slow as a snail and then fast as a tiger all at once.  The snail part is that, I over think everything and take awhile to figure out that if I take one step forward everything will be better.  The first two steps I have taken is growing my hair and changing my name for people outside of my family.  The tiger part is me wanted to go lighting speed now to challenge the world's gender roles.  I do blow most people's minds around something they don't understand about the way people can identify.  The reason that happens is that I put so many labels on myself that most people don't understand one or how I identify with that label.  The key here is that challenging this takes time for most people but for some they are able to do this and walk with pride.  Everyone has to pick their own moment to challenge gender roles, if they feel the need to do this, as no one should be put in a box based on society norms.


If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

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