Talking to "Normal" People Update 1

I will be doing a series every week from Monday to Friday on one topic that screams me to talk about.


Well, I feel today I want to talk about trolls.  The definition I use for the word troll is: "A person who makes a deliberately offensive or provocative online post."  Yes, there are trolls under bridges and they are scary.  I have had the experience of trolls online but also in the real world.  You never know who will be a troll but when this comes up, I can't really be myself in front of people.  I only want to be myself and not be afraid to express myself.  This makes me scared to really know there is a troll around that focuses on me for who I am and not what I am saying.  Yet, I have been learning in the last few months that if I have the confidence to be who I want to be, then maybe I can deal with any trolls that are going to make me feel depressed.

The trolls, I have had in my life have been many but they are never who you think they are.  For me, this is about words from people and having this said to me over and over again until I ready to break myself and scream like a coyote.  The first one I had was in grade school, middle school, and after so long of this person using his words against me, I finally had to start a fight with this person.  The crazy thing was that this person was friends with a bunch of people I hung around with.  The second one was in high school, and would just walk by me, and say words that were making fun of me.  At that point, I was able to push all the words off of me and not have to deal with all of them.  The third ones have been online and they come up on an off which is scary as I can't see who they are so I feel like they are picking on me for being me.  Overall, the trolls can be hard and heavy to deal with but I have had people to help me stand up to most of them online but in real world, this doesn't happen at all.


Are trolls affecting how I dress?  Trolls have been affecting me to dress the way I want ever since I really wanted to change my appearance.  I feel if I dress differently, there will be trolls judging who I am instead of learning more about me.  I want to dress how I want to dress, and this is key to really push my confidence up but will this ever happen, maybe but I will not know because of the trolls pushing me down.

How can trolls push me away from situations?  There are some situations online and in real life that make me feel crazy when trolls come in.  I get affected to the max and feel like going back to those areas make me cry which means I will never go back to those areas.  In the real world, harder to go back to places where I have been trolled at unless I have stood up to that person.  Trolls can push us away from school, work, or even where people are living.  Talking about the situation to others or standing up for yourself are great but super hard.

Can your family be trolls even if they are not trying to be?  Yes, family can be trolls but most of them never really want to be that way.  They are trying to help you in ways they only know which could be wrong in this day and age but that is how they were raised.  My family are not trolls but they can verge on the edge of that even though they think they are helping me.  I like that they want to help me but they always feel like I am not listening or putting their words to action which I am but differently to what they might want or see.


If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, please leave them below and I will get them when I have a chance. I would love to hear what other people think.

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